Reuben Saltzman

Animals, skeletons, and creepy home inspection stuff 2021

There is zero educational content in this post. It’s all gross or creepy stuff we’ve seen over the past year as home inspectors. We’ve shared several of these photos on our Facebook page, but certainly not all of them. We’ve saved up a bunch for this post. Enjoy!

Bat guano city in this attic.

Bat Guano

Bird stuck in the soffit.

Bird stuck in soffit 2

Chimney swifts in a chimney.

Chimney Swifts

Dead fish. How did it get under the stairs?

Dead fish under the stairs

Why are dead dolls so creepy? And what are you supposed to do with them? You surely can’t throw them away. SO WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO?

Hide them in the attic. Yes, that will do.

Dolls in attic

File this repair bill under scary. This “flat rate” plumbing contractor severely gouged this senior citizen for some very basic plumbing work. Over $400 for new fill valves and flappers at two toilets. Over $500 for a backflow preventer on a shower valve. $325 for 3 hose bibb backflow preventers. We’re not singling anyone out, but watch out for who you hire.

Expensive repairs

Hot dog skeleton. This stuff isn’t so bad when you see a picture of it, but when a home inspector is walking around in a dark basement in a strange house, seeing this out of the corner of your eye will stop your heart.

Hot dog skeleton

Hey buddy, we see you.

Mouse in basement

It never seems to work out well for mice who find their way into electric panels.

Mouse in panel

I smell a rat.

Rat under tub

Is this not the cutest skeleton ever?

Cute Mouse Skeleton

This is iron ochre, or iron bacteria, growing inside of the drain tile. It’s just about impossible to get rid of.

Iron Bacteriyuck

Murder of crows.

Murder of crows

Speaking of murder, this was a note left behind for us. Or does it say “Marder?”

Murder note

Speaking of notes left behind, here’s a subtle clue indicating a strong seller’s market.

Seller's market blurred

You’re not invisible.

You're not invisible

Yes yes, we can clearly see that the opening is more than 4″. Now let us do our job, please.

Cat helper

The obligatory and cliche skeletons in the closet.

Skeletons in the closet

And finally, the remains of a snake in a sub-slab duct. No, thank you.

Snake in subslab duct

We’ll return to our regularly scheduled blog next week.

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