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Reuben Saltzman

“You Won’t Find Anything Wrong With This House”

I’m sure we all have a few phrases that we hear on a regular basis that make us cringe.  Here are a few of mine (all of which I recently heard in one day).

Confident Real Estate Agent:  “You won’t find anything wrong with this house.”

If you brought your infant to the doctor for their one month checkup, would you confidently tell the pediatrician that they won’t find anything wrong with your child?

If you took your dog to the vet for an annual checkup, would you confidently tell the veterinarian that they won’t find anything wrong with your dog?

If you hired a heating contractor to come out for an annual furnace check-up, would you confidently tell them they won’t find anything wrong with your furnace?

I just don’t get it.

Homeowner: “Why didn’t the other inspector find that?”

Of course, I always answer I don’t know.

You’d think that this would be a rhetorical question, but most homeowners genuinely want me to answer this question.  Here are a a few answers that I always want to say, but never do:

You hired a lazy inspector.

You hired the cheapest inspector you could find.

Your real estate agent picked an inspector that wouldn’t ‘blow the deal’.

Same homeowner as above: “I thought the other inspector did a good job… I mean, they gave me a nice three-ring binder and everything.”

If you go to a restaurant and you get a free toy with your meal, do you expect it to be a good meal?

If you go to a hair salon  and you get a free fanny pack with your haircut, do you expect it to be a great hair cut?

Three-ring-binderSome of the most confusing (and worst) home inspection reports that I’ve seen have been accompanied by colorful three-ring binders.  Here at Structure Tech, we stopped giving out three-ring binders about eight years ago.  That’s when we started focusing more time and effort in to really writing our reports – not checking boxes.

Homeowner: “I had the gas company out, and they couldn’t find any problems.”

My suggestion is usually to hire a licensed contractor.  The gas company does not send out licensed contractors, and I’m no longer surprised when they don’t identify very real gas leaks.  For more info on this topic, click any of the links below.

Reuben Saltzman, Structure Tech Home Inspections – Email – Minneapolis Home Inspections




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No responses to ““You Won’t Find Anything Wrong With This House””

  1. Jim Allhiser
    August 10, 2010, 5:17 am

    Ha, ha!! Or how about the nervous agent asking me to go “easy” on the house. Like somehow I will do a less thorough inspection just because she asked. No thanks, I would like both of us to keep our licenses!

  2. Reuben Saltzman
    August 10, 2010, 5:45 am

    I’ve heard that one too… and again, I just don’t get it.

  3. Jesse Bryant
    August 12, 2010, 5:18 am

    My favorite, that I always get, is “would you buy this house?” I’m a fixer upper so I don’ t think that I would be a good example for some of my clients.

  4. Reuben Saltzman
    August 18, 2010, 3:51 am

    Jesse – one of my favorite responses is a get a very serious look and say “Absolutely not. I already own a house.”

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