Reuben Saltzman

Signs, warnings, and notes left by sellers

As home inspectors, we come across many signs and warnings left by home sellers. I assembled a compilation of my favorites, and I hope you find them as amusing as I did.

Winterized, kinda. The handwritten part that says “Best Possable” reduces my confidence by about 90%.

Best Possable Winterization

Copper Stolen. Don’t bother trying to break into this house to steal the copper pipes. Someone beat you to it.

I’ll take your word for it.

Selling point! This panel was clearly labeled, and the real estate agent listed this as a selling point. I love this. Seriously.

Stay away, Bre. I love the personal admonition.

Eric better watch where he puts the dishes. That’s an awfully stiff penalty for putting dishes in the sink. But rules are rules.

Finally, a pool for all of us.

Telling and hilarious.

Yes, our thoughts exactly. Thank you for the heads up.

Good to know. This was clearly done by the chimney contractor. I wondered if the homeowner knew this was there.

Pizza switch. “We activated the pizza switch and waited for over 45 minutes, but no pizza arrived. Have this further inspected and repaired as needed by a qualified professional.”

He-Man Lights.

Seller’s market. You know it’s a seller’s market when this is the first thing you see when you arrive for a showing.

Unoppertable. We’re pretty sure this means it doesn’t work.

What the seller suspects… This is my favorite note of all time. It was hilarious for the seller to tell us why they thought their toilet was clogged and to throw their teenager under the bus in the process.